Living Under The Shadow Of Townsville

As the Biblemen surrounded the airborne Hogwarts Express...armed to the proverbial teeth...it seemed obvious they weren't going to back down without a good reason. Buffy picked up the megaphone Harry kept from his Quidditch days and talked into it..."Okay...i'm only gonna say this once...so listen up."
"We are part of a UN sponsored task force whose purpose is that of protection against terrorism and injustice (God, thought Buffy, could that be any more corny...), and if you persist in attacking us, we will be forced to defend ourselves."
"'Scuse me whilst I duck under the lunch cart..." said Broom Hilda, tossing her cigar over the side.
"Very nice Buffy..." said Harry. "Let's see if they buy it..."
In response, the commander of the Biblemen spokethrough his armor's PA system...."We do not recognise the authority of man's organizations. The UN panders to a cultural elite. We...and the President of theUnited States...recognize but one authority." And ,as if to emphasize the point...he fired a warning shot across the top of the train engine.
"You missed." Buffy said.
"No, I didn't" the commander responded....
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In Philadelphia, a tall, shaven-headed man wearing a green poncho came in from the rainstorm....it seemed like it always rained in Philadelphia....The tall man walked into a bar, called simply...."Spirits" ...but it read like "pirt" because some neon letters were missing...the tall man walked up to thebar and ordered a scotch on the rocks.
He sat next to a man in a wrinkled yellow raincoat and hat. His wristwatch seemed to be talking to him. "Dick, this is Tess. Get your drunk ass home. I'm leaving you a message..."
The bartender...anold bruiser named Denny smiled sadly at him. "David...you gotta go easy on the stuff..."
"Is Fight Club happening tonight?"David Dunn asked..
"Really...you gotta wife and son..."
"Is.Fight.Club.Happening. Tonight?"
Denny let out a sigh."Yes. Fight Club is happening tonight."
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" Want me to turn 'em into frogs, boss?" Hilda asked. " Or how about just their testicles?"
"No...no, I don't think so...let's see what the Townsville deterrent can do..." and ...as though in response...a pink, blue and green striped comet came flashing through the sky....."Here they are...just in time."Buffy grinned.
The tracers in the sky seemed to be almost...skywriting as they quickly disarmed the Biblemen...being very careful not to harm them...although the green tracer managed to strip one of them down to his boxers...Buffy spoke into he rphone."Very nice girls...I think they got the point...better get back to bed...the Professor will kill me if he finds out I kept you up..." And...from the sky could be heard the sound of ....giggling.
"Pretty effective." Harry mused to himself."We're gonna need 'em...they may not be available 24/7...kindergarden and all...plus their dad and Townsville's mayor seemed reluctant to let them play too much in the "real world"...but even as part-timers,we're lucky to get them."
Harry nodded to his associate, who wasn't a day over 1500 years old.."Better set course for Philadelphia...Buffy...how much do you know about this guy Moneypenny wants us to recruit?"
"Well...just what we read in the papers...about how thousands were killed before ...before he was found..."Harry lowered his eyes..."This was the guy who turned in Elijah Rice. Considered one of the world's most dangerous terrorists since Bin Laden and....well...You-Know-Who".Buffy nodded,and said one word.
"Yeah."